The 10 Commandments of Self-Editing

Let's face it, editing your own work is like trying to give yourself a haircut. You're bound to miss a spot, and there's a good chance you'll end up looking like a Picasso painting. But fear not, my literary pilgrim, for I bring you the 10 commandments of self-editing that will guide you to the promised land of polished prose.

1. Thou Shalt Not Edit While Writing

This is the first and greatest commandment. Writing and editing are like oil and water, cats and dogs, pineapple and pizza—they simply do not mix. So resist the urge to delete that sentence you just wrote. It might be as appealing as a root canal, but you can deal with it later.

2. Thou Shalt Take Breaks

Even the Almighty took a day off, so why shouldn't you? Put your work aside and forget about it for a few days. When you return to it, you'll see it with fresh eyes. And by "fresh eyes," I mean you'll realize just how much editing you need to do.

3. Thou Shalt Change Formats

Reading your work in a different format is like seeing your reflection in a funhouse mirror. Suddenly, all those glaring errors and awkward sentences come to light. So, print out your work, read it on an e-reader, or see how it workson a mobile phone. You'll be amazed at what you discover.

4. Honor Thy Structure and Content

Before you start polishing each sentence like it's the holy grail, take a step back and look at the big picture. Are there sections that need to be cut out? Is there missing information? Do you need to rewrite some parts? Remember, there's no point in polishing a gem if it's going to be thrown out later.

5. Thou Shalt Cut Out 10% of Thy Words

Here's a fun challenge: try to cut out 10% of your words. It's like a game of Jenga, but with words. You'll be surprised at how much you can remove without the whole thing collapsing. And hey, if you end up removing something important, you can always add it back in. That's the beauty of editing.

6. Thou Shalt Use Spell-Check, but...

Spell-checkers are like that friend who always gives you advice. Sometimes it's helpful, sometimes it's not. So, while it's good to have a spell-checker, don't rely on it completely. After all, it's your work, and you know it better than any machine.

7. Thou Shalt Read Thy Piece Backwards

Reading your work backwards is like traveling back in time. You get to see the evolution of your ideas in reverse. It's a bit awkward, but it can help you spot mistakes that you might have missed. If that's too much for you, try reading slowly. It's less fun, but equally effective.

8. Thou Shalt Let It Go

Finally, and most importantly, know when to let go. Editing is important, but it's also important to not get stuck in an endless loop of revisions. If you find yourself debating over a comma for more than five minutes, it's time to move on. Remember, perfection is a myth. Your work is a reflection of you, and just like you, it's perfectly imperfect.

9. Thou Shalt Seek a Second Opinion

Sometimes, you're just too close to your work to see it objectively. It's like trying to read the label on a bottle while holding it an inch from your face. This is where a second pair of eyes comes in handy. Ask a friend, a family member, or a random stranger on the internet to read your work. They might spot errors you've missed, or offer suggestions you hadn't considered. Just make sure to return the favor when they need it.

10. Remember Why Thou Started

When you're knee-deep in edits and starting to question your life choices, remember why you started writing in the first place. Maybe you had a story you needed to tell, or an idea you wanted to share. Maybe you just love the feeling of creating something out of nothing. Whatever your reason, hold onto it. It'll keep you going when the editing gets tough.

The Promised Land of Polished Prose

So there you have it, the 10 commandments of self-editing. Remember, it's okay to feel frustrated, it's okay to take breaks, and it's okay to make mistakes. After all, you're only human. And who knows? You might even find yourself enjoying the process. Or at least, you'll learn to appreciate the sweet relief that comes when it's finally over.

To all the brave souls who dare to venture into the treacherous world of self-editing, remember this: The road to greatness is paved with adverbs, passive voice, and split infinitives. But with a little patience, a lot of humor, and an unyielding will to improve, you too can conquer the beast that is self-editing. So, keep your chin up, your spirits high, and your red pen at the ready.

Now, go forth and edit. And remember, in the wise words of Ernest Hemingway, "The first draft of anything is shit." So don't be too hard on yourself. You're in good company.